I couldn't sleep any longer because we're going on vacation Saturday and I have a lot to do to prepare for it. Curiously, if me and the kids aren't fully ready when my husband wants us to be, it will be all *my* fault. The kids really want to go so that's why we are even going in the first place. I have stuff I need to get done for the trip for myself too, and it just irritates me that my kids act like they're helpless two-year-olds. My parents are going to meet up with us on the 4th and I'm anxious about that too, scared that they still won't think I'm a very good mom and scared that my husband is going to be a jerk to them. Today I'm also going to have lunch with my bible study group (which I kind of want to quit because I just don't feel safe with them anymore). 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. And now I'll pray what I was taught in counseling yesterday: God, I'm willing to give up finding my own way out of the fear. I'm going to trust you to lead me out. Amen.
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