I'm going to a friend's baby shower this weekend. The thing I feel most scared of is overhearing people telling her how good of mom she's going to make. I've never heard that with my three and I've been feeling pretty angry, and I'm so jealous that my friend's family is excited about the new baby and not angry or ashamed about him. My counselor told me to practice how to behave and practice reminding myself God is with me so I don't get all hysterical and angry at the shower. I don't want to get into it but suffice it to say I'm feeling pretty lousy about myself and it's one of those times where you wonder why God would even want to love me. I know he does even though I don't want to believe it right now.
God, thanks for caring about me even though I'm awful. Thank you, God, for songs like this.
I hope the shower goes well and that you are able to get through it. Think of it as celebrating the little life that is to be born. No matter the circumstances that life is so precious and special.
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