Do you have a funny experience to share? What are some of the silly or stupid things you did? My daughter didn’t like having her hair brushed when she was a toddler, so everyday before daycare I put her Rastafarian hair in a bun, thinking nobody could tell it was a rat’s nest.
Has there been a time in your life that you felt the world was falling apart? Yes, when my favorite grandmother passed away when I was 13, when my favorite brother moved to college when I was 14, and when my dog died when I was in the hospital in 2006. Those losses are still hard for me to talk about.
Has God ever worked a miracle in your life or in the life of someone you know? Yes, basically my whole life is a miracle because the doctors expected me to die before I was a year old. Instead of professing a miracle that I survived, my parents treated me like a burden when I was growing up. (And now I’m 42 so it feels really odd to me, like everyone's still waiting for me to die!) But just this past Sunday I listened to a man’s testimony at church where he was telling about suffering a stroke a few years ago because of a congenital heart defect and how he could suffer another more devastating (even fatal) one in the future. He summed it up by saying, “I’m alive, praising and serving God solely by His pleasure.” Me too!!! Instead of apologizing to the world that I’m still alive, I feel so special knowing God has a reason for keeping me here.
How has difficult times affected your marriage? My husband is a control freak, so as long as he thinks he can fix it, I just let him. It makes me feel like a failure to take a back seat but he won’t let me share the burden.
What fears have you struggled with? Fear of my children’s lives being ruined because I’m not a good mom. Fear that nobody likes me.
Do you feel that God has a plan for your life? Yes, even though I don’t know what it is. I feel like a failure most of the time. I guess even Hitler had a mom.
What has been the hardest moment of your life so far? Not being able to prevent my kids being hurt or rejected. It reminds me of my childhood all over again.
A bun fixes everything! I've sported the bun many times when I haven't brushed my hair. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are wonderful and precious in God's eyes and He sure does have a plan for you! Otherwise, He would have taken you long ago!
I'm sure your children don't feel you are a bad mom at all. I'm sure all of us have felt like a pretty crappy mom at one point in time. Moms fail too sometimes, but God is there to pick us back up. I can understand that fear of nobody liking you. I don't like to upset people and have people mad at me. I just want everyone to get along. That isn't always possible but I sure try!
I know I don't know you that well but you seem like a real sweetheart & a great Mom. My older 2 children there Father used to always call me a Bad Mom or call children's services on Me. He to was a control freak, so i know what you mean there. I feel god has a plan for all of us & that's why I feel these reading groups are great. I don't have alot of friends since we left ohio almost 2 yrs ago. I know I'm so glad I met you online. HUGS :)
ReplyDeleteCaroline