Look back on this and laugh - not

I'm starting to think maybe staying inside my house permanently isn't such a bad idea.

Yesterday I had jury duty. On the way there I started panicking because I didn't want to get selected. I feel like I'm too stupid to be on a jury. I got in the parking lot of the courthouse and sat in my car hysterical. I'm unqualified and incompetent to do it. And I knew I didn't get picked the last couple times I went so I figured my luck was running out. I was praying (screaming) I wouldn't get picked, it was awful because I felt so immature wanting God to get me out of this when people have a lot bigger problems than that. So I sat in the courtroom for an hour with everyone else, and the attorneys kept coming in and then leaving, and finally they came back in and the judge announced that they settled the case and we could go home. Merry Christmas to me!!

The other thing ... my husband keeps getting on me about the house, like when I go to volunteer and he comes home and I hadn't gotten everything spiffy, he goes ballistic. So I can't even do anything else besides cleaning or I feel guilty and ashamed. And I took home a dozen lessons yesterday to grade for volunteering (since I feel guilty now for being there) and did half last night and was going to do half this morning after I took a shower. The kids went to school, I get out of the shower and discover that Savannah (the beagle puppy) had gotten on the kitchen table and chewed parts of four student's report cards, part of an answer page out of my grade book and ALL the cards and papers were strewn all over the floor! I just don't want to go in and have to tell them what happened. I know they will think it's funny, but it's not funny. I'm really upset about it. I know my husband will tell me I shouldn't have left the stuff in the kitchen. I want to offer to re-type and re-input grades for those four report cards too. I'm just so irritated and upset! My oldest son yelled at me (because he helped me gather up everything into a pile) that there was "nothing I could do about it now!" The thing is, this just adds to my mood from yesterday, because my daughter took my Black Hills Gold bracelet to school and it didn't come home with her, and she won't tell me what she did with it. She also took a necklace the day before that someone had made for me 10 years ago, and she won't tell me where it is. I feel like nothing of mine matters to anyone! Not even a stupid dog!! I'm so sick of this.

Ending on a positive note, we got our family Christmas pictures taken last night finally. I get to address all the cards but that will have to wait till I get home from dropping the lessons off.