Grandparents (paternal)

My paternal grandfather was a character. He was very friendly. He got divorced and remarried after my parents married. Nobody knew till after he died that he had a second job at night as a bartender. When he divorced the second time, he lived in Florida and met some lady that was his girlfriend till he died. When he first met Maggie, he looked like a typical old man - short white hair, glasses, overweight, no teeth. After a few months of knowing her, he looked almost as hot as Frank Sinatra - longer white hair, thin, tan, perfect white teeth. Then he got sick (I forget what it was) but Maggie started yelling that she didn't want him to die in her house, so my mom went down to Florida and took care of him till he died in the summer of 1985. The thing I remember most about this time was my sister and me were still living at home, and my dad tried making arrangements for us to stay with other people while he went down for the funeral. My sister (who hated me) said she would stay with a friend because she didn't want to stay anywhere I was!

I don't remember my paternal grandmother very much. One memory of her was at my aunt's house. She was sitting in the dining room smoking a cigarette and the lights were off so I could only see her silhouette and the lit end of her cigarette. The other memory I have of her was visiting her in the hospital with my parents and brothers and sister. She wanted me to sit beside her so she could hug me but I was scared. I can't remember if I did or not. I wonder if she thought I hated her.

One of the good memories my dad has of his mother was when she'd make him breakfast, she'd forget she had toast on the stove (because back then they didn't have toasters) and by the time she remembered, it would be burnt. He said he can still picture her leaning over the sink trying to scrape off the burnt part. To this day, my dad deliberately makes burnt toast in the toaster.

All anyone else had of her was bad memories (thinking bad things about her, not necessarily that she was a bad person). I freaking BEG TO DIFFER. I found out that she used to be mentally ill when my dad and his brother and sister were growing up. They never knew what kind of shape she'd be in or how the house would look, so supposedly they were so ashamed about it that they never invited friends over. (To this day my dad has an absolute coronary if his house is even the slightest bit messy.) I found out that my grandpa kept signing her into a mental hospital when he'd get mad at her. I found out that my grandpa and his new girlfriend (soon second wife) went to the mental hospital once to convince my grandma to sign divorce papers. Anyway, my heart hurts for her TOO.

My grandma Marie (we always called her "grandma Marie" even when grandpa married her) was a crab and a neat freak. She smoked like a chimney. When we had get-togethers for Thanksgiving, etc., she never came. When we had events at their house, she wouldn't come out of her room. When they moved to Florida, she divorced my grandpa but we kept in touch with her. She was fun to talk to when she was in a good mood, I guess. After my grandpa died, my parents tried to keep in touch with her but eventually she moved into a nursing home and told my parents she didn't want to see them anymore. I found out she died a couple years ago all alone in a nursing home. I know she was a grumpy person but I feel so bad she was alone. Anyway, I couldn't stop crying this morning so I got up to write about them.