Six Word Saturday (8/3/13)

I Read Mary Beth Chapman's Book

I had heard a lot about the book "Choosing To See" already but I went ahead and actually read it on vacation last month.  Not only did it discuss the accident and aftermath of their adopted daughter Maria Sue's death but she also had a few vignettes about her growing up years and her meeting and marrying the singer Steven Curtis Chapman.

One thing that surprised me is that she admitted she wasn't all pure and innocent when they got married (but it was from some other guy - a "predator," in her words).  I'm wondering if the self-righteous Baptists who love her husband's music so much would still think she was such a wonderful person if they knew this about her.  I'm also conflicted about her use of the word "predator" because if it was the teenage sex experience she hinted at then she needs to own up to her part in it.  Then again, if she was date-raped (like being tricked into doing it with no way of escape, like my experience), "predator" would be the word to use.  I guess I would have liked to have learned more details about it.  Also it would have shown me and others who read her book that you actually aren't considered a disgusting piece of unwanted trash to others and God if that ever happened to you.

I knew most of the details of the accident because they had already been discussed in interviews and articles. I don't know if this is typical of someone who has lost a child (whether it be through abortion like me or some other death), but I was very curious about the accident that killed Maria Sue. One thing I didn't know is that Will Franklin (who accidentally hit her with his car) is allowed to grieve for her and miss her!  I wish I had that freedom with Claudia.  Mary Beth wrote about him at first wanting to wear his blood-soaked shirt to show everyone it was his fault that Maria Sue was killed.  His brother wrestled it away from him and threw it in a lake.  Nobody is ever mad at him for what happened and he could mourn for her just like they were doing, as if she had been killed by someone else.  I absolutely love that.  I also cried when Steven Curtis yelled "I love you!" to Will Franklin out his car window on the way to the hospital.  I almost can't put my head around it that Will Franklin can do something horrible (even though for sure it wasn't intentional in this case) and his father still could say he loved him.  I wish my parents, other family members, and Baptists (ha!) could be that way towards me.

Another thing she wrote that struck me is how she dreads the 21st of every month.  It's like a little "anniversary" reminder of the date of the accident.  Of course, this book was written quite soon after the accident and maybe she feels indifferent about it now three years later.  As for me, I don't have a problem with the 15th of the month unless it's January.

At any rate, I liked this book a lot and hopefully she will write an updated one about the new stages of grief she's going through.  I think that would be helpful to a lot of people.