Down

I applied for a job transcribing sermons earlier this week.  I thought that sure would be a way to honor God with my skill and I'd also make more money than I am right now when the workload is slow.  Well, I heard back from them that they don't need any more help right now but to write again in a few months.  I feel awful.    I hate that feeling where everyone around you is concerned about money (and my husband's family all brag about how much they have) and you find yourself feeling a little greedy too.  It feels like the only reason my husband would like me is because I make money (hence, he's being a jerk to me lately).  So I feel like I'm failing in all aspects of my life - professional, marriage and being a mom.  I went volunteering today and it's odd how the depression disappears while I'm grading Bible study lessons for the students.  On the way home, a song on the radio by Led Zeppelin ended and then "Keep On Loving You" by REO Speedwagon came on, so I got to hear the entire thing from beginning to end, and I thought about Claudia (which I always do during that song, because I feel like she sings it to me) and I feel a little better.