No reply

Friday I left a message on the answering machine for my counselor. No response. Last night I wrote him an email in kind of a panic, no answer all day today. I have an appointment with him on Wednesday and I feel stupid! Why should I go if he doesn't even care. Here's the big problem I have with this, he knows that I like reassurance that everything's okay. I mean, how hard would it be to call me and just say I got your email or I got your message so at least I know?

Tonight my oldest son and my husband were teasing me about all the money I've sunk into counseling. Well, my husband tried to make me feel better by saying he has two "hobby" cars that equal about five years of counseling, but then he said "But I can sell my cars and get some money back." There's a Walgreens opening two blocks away from my house (I love Walgreens) and I'm thinking $65 would buy an awful lot of Walgreens crap if I didn't go to counseling any more. But the thought of stopping contact with this person who SUPPOSEDLY cares about me is making me panic A LOT!!! And this is my catch-22, I can't even write him about panicking because he won't reply to THAT email EITHER, right?

I can't be all mad at him Wednesday or he's going to spend my whole session making sure the air is clear between us. And I can't complain about him to anyone or they'll just tell me to find someone else or just quit altogether, but I need someone to talk to. My husband even likes it that I have a counselor, otherwise he'd have to talk to me. (Yes, he's said that before, but joking.)

I'm panicking and it feels like the one person who's supposed to care DOESN'T.