Six Word Saturday (9/11/10)

It's still scary nine years later

I'm not going to write very much about the feelings I had on that day in 2001 because where death is concerned I tend to get stuck and it's very hard to get out of those feelings.

On that day, I was reading emails from the May/June 1998 brides group I belonged to, and someone emailed that an airplane hit the World Trade Center in New York.  (Till that point I never knew those two buildings were called that.)  I turned on the news and a few minutes later the second plane hit.  The thing I remember most is all the people jumping.  I had nightmares about it for a long time afterward.  When I was awake, I obsessed about it -- "Were they scared?"  "Did it hurt?"  "Are they in Heaven?" "Do they see Claudia and my grandma?"  By the time I started counseling, almost six years had gone by and I still talked about it.  I wondered in one session, what if there was a really mean greedy CEO of a company on one of the top floors who had to jump, and could he have said, "God, please save me," and what chance did he have of getting to Heaven because he basically only lived 100% for God for the 23 seconds it took his body to fall to the pavement?

Well, that's all I can write.

God is everywhere, all the time, even in burning towers with people jumping out of them.  I've been reading in Job lately, and even in his worst times Job basically says that people think they have it so good but don't have God in their life and that he'd rather have nothing as long as he had God with him.  Like he is the leaf and God is the stream the leaf's floating in, and maybe things are calm or maybe things are violent, but God is still there so Job trusts God that everything's okay.  I still don't understand why terrorists attacked but God knows all about this and He saw everything that day and I'm trying to trust that God knows what's going to happen next.  And He will be with us then too.