Caring for Carleigh Reading (Chapter 11)

This chapter was about the family staying home a lot because they didn't want Anna exposed to any outside germs, and that included not going to church. I like how during this time Lynnette was able to reevaluate how she looked at the act of going to church, why people do it, what happens there between people, the faces people put on, social competitions, the relationships that happen, etc. I agree 100% with her that it's by far much worse to neglect your family that God has blessed you with in order to do stuff at church (just so people don't "talk" about you). This chapter kind of hit home with me because I decided to join a Galatians class and concentrate on learning Galatians rather than trying to connect with people.

Do you think that you can grow in faith without going to church?

Yes and no. Faith has a lot of different compartments to it, I think: reading your Bible, worshipping/singing, serving others, praying, learning. (I'm sure there are other compartments but I'm drawing a blank.) If you stay home, maybe you can do all of them but serving others would be a challenge. Or if you have laryngitis, worshipping and singing would be a challenge. When you go to church you can get all of those compartments filled.

Galatians

Today was the first class of the fall semester for Galatians at church. It's being taught by the same couple who taught Genesis last time. I was at a different (bad) "place" emotionally during the last church/school year because it really upset me that the people in my class didn't include me in stuff outside of class. Like I only got invited to one baby shower and one potluck. Anyway, the teacher emailed me a couple months ago letting me know he was teaching Galatians, so I'm going, but only to study Galatians. It's the same exact people as last time in the class too, but this time I'm trying not to hope for friendship with anyone there. Today was mostly talking about the timeline of when Galatians was written, and it was kind of tedious, but hopefully next week we'll actually get to start at Gal. 1:1, LOL.

I decided to quit the handbell choir after last week's horrible practice (and nobody caring that I was upset, just passing me off as "you'll get better") and also the pastor's study class that was before practice (where I felt like a kindergardener in calculus class). So I won't have to go to church twice on Wednesdays anymore, just once for counseling.

Cat dream

As I’ve said before, I like to keep track of my dreams because I rarely remember them. Last night I dreamed that a shoebox-sized box was delivered by UPS and I opened one end of it. There was a cat stuffed inside. I pulled him out and he was all limp like a rag doll but he was alive. I asked my husband why did he get me a cat because I hate cats. He told me there were only five of these cats left in the whole world, and he saw it for sale on eBay and just had to buy it for me. Once I started examining the limp cat in my arms, I realized why he was so rare! He had gold eyes, the color of real gold. His fur was like a patchwork quilt of black and dark blue fur. Except looking closer I could see the blue fur actually had a tiny sapphire at the tip of each strand of fur. The black fur had a tiny diamond on each strand. So this cat sparkled like crazy. And then I noticed for the border of each patch of fur there was a gold (actual gold) line going vertically and a silver (actual silver) line going horizontally, and his ears were gold-lined. This cat was breathtaking! So I wrapped him up in a blanket and we went to bed, and I figured by morning he wouldn’t be so traumatized from his trip in the box. I marveled that he was even alive because the box had packing tape all over it and there were no holes in it for air. In my dream, before I fell asleep I was listing in my head all the things we would need to get for him the next day – a litter box, Meow Mix, a collar – and then I also decided we better check and make sure he was really a “he” too, because I couldn’t think of a name for him at first. I was thinking of “Dave”, as in Diamond Dave (what David Lee Roth used to be called until people started calling him “out-of-the-closet Dave”), but then I decided if the cat turned out to be a boy I’d call him Jewelian (like Julian) and if it was a girl just Jewel, so in my dream I went to sleep and then I woke up for real.

Caring for Carleigh Reading (Chapter 10)

This chapter starts off by talking about how Lynnette's parents cared for the other children at their house while Lynnette and her husband were staying at the hospital with Anna, and how her parents took care of the farm and milked the goats. So I'm assuming that's behind Holly's first question in the read-along:

Have you ever tried goat's milk?

No! My first ex-husband's parents told me when he was a baby he was allergic to everything except goat's milk and it really stunk up their refrigerator! So I've never even wanted to try it, blech!

I wasn't really sure how to feel about Anna's surgery. On the one hand, I've been there myself (having surgery as a kid) and remember too well how scary it is. On the other hand, if Anna was only 9 months old, there's a great chance she wouldn't remember any of it. I know it must've been really tough seeing her with all the tubes, wires and machines (reminding them of Josiah) too. The thing I found most precious of this whole chapter was when they talked to Anna during this time at the hospital and telling her (remember, a 9 month old) that Jesus was with her too. I just felt like crying. I wonder what that's like, growing up in a family from Day 1 that included Jesus in everything. Because it sure is comforting to me as an adult.

Lynnette mentioned that as Anna recovered from the second surgery, she would respond physically to her parents' touch, like her oxygen saturation level would go up when they held her. Do you think that contact like Anna had with her parents can have a healing effect?

Yes, absolutely! I remember when I was little and had surgery, I would be in the recovery room for hours because I'd always get sick from the anesthesia. As soon as I was back in my room where my parents were waiting, the nurses would ALWAYS comment how quickly my health improved. One funny story too, when I had a hernia repair surgery five years ago, I told my husband how it seemed easier for me to come out of the anesthesia if I knew he was near and I told him to hold my hand as soon as he saw me after the surgery. He did remember to do it but he was squeezing my hand so hard that it really hurt! So it wasn't so helpful having him near that time.

Caring for Carleigh Reading (Chapter 9)

This was a really short chapter but it was fun to read. I couldn't tell how long Lynnette's family ended up living in the Nightmare House, but I could relate to having to move AGAIN. When we were trying to sell our old house, it made my skin crawl knowing people were touring it with the realtor, even though we'd leave before they got there. (Yeah, I have mental problems, LOLOL.) I got so freaked about keeping it clean all the time (and I had just had major surgery a few months before), so my sweet husband moved us into a rental house for four months till our new house was finished building. (Of course, empty, clean houses look fantastic so our old house sold fairly quickly after we moved out!) So we ended up moving twice in four months and it was tough. Anyway, I loved reading about their menagerie of pets and animals. We have two dogs and two birds and that's enough.

Where do you desire to live?

Actually, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to live in Lawrence, Kansas, and I think it's hysterical finding out Lynnette lives in Kansas. My brother lived in Kansas about 15 years ago and I went to visit him when my oldest son was about 9 months old. We had THE BEST time. Everything in that town is all green and quiet, and it seemed like there were parks to play in everywhere! It's a big enough city that it has major name stores and restaurants but it's small enough that people are friendly. Four-season weather (instead of New Mexico's 2 months mild winter/10 months killer summer). I wouldn't want to live on a farm because it's too much work.

Relief and a concert

Color me surprised but my counselor actually didn't seem disappointed that I didn't go to the shower and seemed to really understand why I didn't. I was relieved. I'm going to share something he said in the hope it might help someone else. He said I could have talked to the baby's mother (who the shower was for) in advance to tell her how I was feeling, how uncomfortable and jealous and nervous I was. He said just me knowing that someone would then be aware of my feelings would prevent any outbursts or crying that I was scared I would have done there. He said people can't tell on the outside what you're feeling on the inside, so if they don't respond in kindness (which is what I would want if I was crying) it's because they just didn't know that I'm hurting.

My husband took the day off today and I was talking to him about all this when I got home, and he said something kind of neat. He said that deep inside I am a 5'10" leggy blonde who's very friendly even though my outside is freakish and worries what people think. He also said if I were a 5'10" leggy blonde on the outside, I wouldn't have given him the time of day, so he appreciates me the way I am.

Tonight (Wed.) we went to the Jeff Dunham concert. Most of his stuff that I've seen on Youtube is pretty funny, especially Achmed.



But unfortunately Jeff cursed a lot (it's bleeped out of the videos I've seen) and there were several adult jokes and themes (thankfully my kids didn't "get" it), but nonetheless it was kind of disappointing. In a way I'm happy to see that God has been working on my heart (and mind) since I wasn't amused by the language and crassness. Adrian Rogers said, "God doesn't modify our behavior in order to change us. He changes us in order to modify our behavior." People think that Christians don't "get to" do anything fun (a/k/a sinful), but lately I've been noticing (like tonight) that once God starts pouring you into that Jesus-shaped mold of His, you don't even "want to" sin. (So cool, God...)

Caring for Carleigh Reading (Chapter 8)

In case anyone was wondering, as an update to my previous post, I didn't go to the baby shower after all, last second decision (I had my keys in my hand walking to the car and I turned around and went back inside!). I know my good ol' counselor's going to nitpick this to death when I mention it tomorrow.

I loved the matter-of-fact way Lynnette described Anna's conditions but at the same time still talked about her like the sweet baby she was (like how the doctors let them be with Anna for a bit after she was born, just like you would with a baby with no problems). I liked how she wondered what Anna's future would hold (as far as having kids of her own, etc.) - things a mother of a healthy baby would ponder. By this time I was wishing Lynnette was my mom, LOL.

Have you incorporated any healthier living into your family? That would be a big fat no. My husband will only eat two vegetables, corn and potatoes. My kids are even pickier eaters than that. My sister is really big into eating healthy (no red meat, etc.) and she ruins every family occasion by critiquing everyone's food choices. I wouldn't even know where to begin to start eating healthier.

[Mentioning yet another rude doctor Lynnette encountered.] Have you encountered any doctors like this? Yes, lots, just from my own experience growing up. Even though I was young, I understood most of what they were saying as they told my parents dire things about me, like I wasn't even in the room.