Six Word Saturday (4/23/11)

I'm so glad tomorrow is Easter!

This is a video from a couple years ago since I don't play handbells any more.

http://youtu.be/j00aRWPxbBY

I just love that song and it was really cool that we got to play it.

Six Word Saturday (4/16/11)

The Waiting Is The Hardest Part

There's an episode of the Simpson where Homer goes to a gun shop to buy a gun, and the clerk tells him it'll be a five-day waiting period.  Homer screams the best line, ever, "Five days?!  But I'm mad NOW!"  Anyway, he goes home to wait and all these reminders pass by in front of him. 

Lately I can relate to this (the waiting, not the gun).  My son keeps getting delayed on his deployment to the military and in the meantime he's still living here and my husband isn't being very nice to him.  It's killing me.  It seems like my whole life is just waiting for something else.  After my counseling on Wednesday then I can't wait till Sunday (for church).  Then after church I can't wait till Wednesday (for counseling!).   I have countdown clocks on my personal iGoogle page - one for how many days till Obama's last day as president, one for how many days till my daughter graduates from high school, and one for how many days till the Third Day concert in Tucson I'm going to.

If this was "One Word Saturday," I would just say WAITING!  Ugh!

Down

I applied for a job transcribing sermons earlier this week.  I thought that sure would be a way to honor God with my skill and I'd also make more money than I am right now when the workload is slow.  Well, I heard back from them that they don't need any more help right now but to write again in a few months.  I feel awful.    I hate that feeling where everyone around you is concerned about money (and my husband's family all brag about how much they have) and you find yourself feeling a little greedy too.  It feels like the only reason my husband would like me is because I make money (hence, he's being a jerk to me lately).  So I feel like I'm failing in all aspects of my life - professional, marriage and being a mom.  I went volunteering today and it's odd how the depression disappears while I'm grading Bible study lessons for the students.  On the way home, a song on the radio by Led Zeppelin ended and then "Keep On Loving You" by REO Speedwagon came on, so I got to hear the entire thing from beginning to end, and I thought about Claudia (which I always do during that song, because I feel like she sings it to me) and I feel a little better.

For what it's worth

Zoe and Ian

Due to the fact Zoe's father is being kind of difficult (and my husband's notorious for ruining everything anyway), it's just not a happy time and it really hurts me.  I thought engagements were supposed to be exciting.  I feel guilty for hoping my son gets to go to basic training soon so there can be some peace around here (you know, since my husband can't be a mature adult and quit starting fights with him over stupid crap all the time).  I wish Zoe could come over more often so I could get to know her, but my son hates it here.  Anyway, here's a picture of them together and thought I'd share.

To Carleigh

When I was looking through photos online to add to this today, I came across a lovely blog post, so I'm sharing that link because I also really love the picture she used.

Happy 2nd Heavenly Birthday, Carleigh!

I know you're safe and happy and loved and whole, but it's really hard not to cry.

Six Word Saturday (3/19/11)

I'm going to be a mother-in-law

My oldest son is partial to St. Patrick's Day because that's his middle name, and since January he had been planning to propose to his girlfriend on that day.  Although there was a lot of unrelated drama (a physical fight with my husband about the price of the ring, which I missed out on because I was at Bible study), the end result is my son popped the question after his girlfriend got off work.  I was very upset thinking that this event he planned was ruined because my husband can't mind his own business, but again if I look at it from my son's point of view, he still got engaged!

They haven't updated their news on Facebook yet so I haven't told anyone except my counselor (and now everyone reading this, a whopping three people).  I want to be openly happy for them and excited about gaining a new daughter, so I hope they publicly announce it soon.

They hope to have the actual wedding sometime after my son's Air Force basic and tech school but before he gets stationed somewhere, so that Zoe can go with him, so probably September-ish.

Six Word Saturday (3/12/11)

A bunch of little things today

My husband has gone to his mechanic friend's garage every Friday night for a few hours since I've known him, but last night was one of the rare occasions where his friend couldn't do it so my husband "had" to stay home (oh, the torture, huh, spending time with us instead!).  He and my daughter like watching Cupcake Wars on the Food network so they decided to make a few cupcakes.  Here's me with the one she made for me: 

My husband has been intensely worried about money and it feels ridiculous because it's not like we're behind on bills, etc.  He has a good job.  My work dwindles down to almost nothing from the end of October to the end of March, so I feel guilty spending ANY money already, and then he starts fretting about other money things that I can't even help with.  I've been having my bible study group pray for either more work for me or even a part-time job in a different industry altogether.  Last night he told me that the community college where he teaches part-time on top of his regular job is scheduling him to teach TWO classes this fall!  So that is an amazing answer to prayer.

And the last little thing .. my oldest son and college don't mix very well.  He failed a couple classes last semester and he just isn't happy having to study.  He is more athletic and likes to DO things and not read things.  He was trying to get a four-year degree so he could enter the Marines as an officer, but he's not going to make it through college.  After talking to some friends who are already enlisted, he decided to enlist in the Air Force.  (The people I've talked to actually told me that the Air Force is kind of hard to get into because you have to pass tests and stuff, so I'm happily surprised my son was able to enlist!)  He told me earlier this week that he heard from the Air Force as far as his ship out date for basic training.  April 13th.  I was kind of hoping it would be this summer so I'm a little bit shocked.  But I am SO HAPPY he's going to be doing something he loves.