A trying day

I didn't have a very good day. Today my counselor told me I could cut down on my stress by exercising outdoors and relaxing/meditating. I feel like if I take time out to do that, I won't get the other stuff done that I need to do. I can barely concentrate on my typing work; how am I supposed to meditate for 15 minutes? Christmas is getting closer and I just dread it. I know everyone will be disappointed that day and so will I. It hurts.

I give up. The way we're talking about Claudia in counseling is like grieving and it just really hurts and it feels pointless, and I asked my counselor today if we could try dealing with it another way because I just can't take it.

I'm sorry this is so depressing but I didn't want to just keep it inside. My counselor knows about it. The thing is, even if a fairy godmother came down and told me she'd help me, I wouldn't know what to ask for.

To catch up on 25 Days of Christmas Music:

December 14 - Merry, Merry Christmas by Koko Taylor. (As his post says, this song was featured in the movie While You Were Sleeping, and I agree it's a great Christmas movie!!

December 15 - Christmas in Tinseltown by Big Voodoo Daddy. (The 2002 archive has two classic Christmas songs "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" from Brenda Lee and "Jingle Bell Rock" from Bobby Helms that you hear in a lot of movies.)

December 16 - Colorado Christmas by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. In the archives for this day in 2002, they have Feliz Navidad (a video I posted a few days ago, LOLOL!) and Mele Kalikimaka by Bing Crosby. As soon as I saw this, I smiled because it reminds me of the scene in Christmas Vacation where Chevy Chase is fantasizing about the swimming pool he's going to buy with his big bonus from work. The part where he gets startled when the beautiful woman's swimsuit hits the window cracks me up EVERY TIME and I've seen this movie 100s of times.